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Leave of Absence

by Brian Kelleher

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1.
It didn't have to be you, I could have loved anybody It didn't have to be you You didn't have to feel pain, I would have hurt anybody You didn't have to feel pain I say I don't feel guilty for my feelings I say I don't regret what we went through But I don't see you anymore, and it's unbearable Was what we shared worth all we lose? My mind came down from that delusion And now I've come to this conclusion I know the person I am, I know where I wanna be So none of this was your fault, it's all on me I should have known from the start, but now I've learned it too well Love's not worth losing someone I care about
2.
Mascara drips along your cheek In tears of sadness and abuse Whisper sweet nothings to me on the telephone This color doesn't flatter you And given all you have to lose, I Don't see why you refuse to try To see this from a new perspective It's working out for me alright You look up and you ask me to tell you honestly If you're still in my thoughts at night And as I bluntly answer no for something like the hundredth time You look at me as though to say "I'm in love with you and I'll never let you go, If I can't have you now then I can wait" You say you love me to get me to stay But I don't like romantic threats And if you whisper more sweet nothings as you cry I'll leave and never turn my head
3.
I get sort of sentimental around this time of night Her legs have got me prisoner by the waist but you still got me by the mind I've tried to let go but trying only leads to more thoughts of your touch and I'm going crazy because I love her but just can't leave this behind I've come to realize that nothing scares me more than losing you forever Do you feel sometimes the same way I feel when your with your man at night?
4.
Holly, They say that actions speak the loudest but you fill every little silence with your words You worry that every text he leaves on read is just another way of telling you you're through You say you're ready to move on but you've been saying that since August Yet your face lights up every time you get called Holly, don't waste your energy waiting for men who wont look back until you're gone Holly, You've bee a ghost to him for years why go through hell for guys who don't know what they've got He's dreaming, but sweetly dreaming is the worst, he'll be reminded he's alone when he wakes up You say you texted him the other day you talked with him for hours and you finally made steps toward making things work But he's not listening, he won't be taking you to be, no way to know what he's been up to this evening Holly, don't waste your energy waiting for men who wont look back until you're gone Holly, I cannot go another minute in this way, I've got to tell you how I feel I'm not sure that you should listen to me now I can't be sure that what I'm telling you is real

about

I'd like to dedicate this record to the 10 or so friends and family members who I've spent the past 2 years bombarding with demo after demo, often of the same songs. Your ears may still be worn out from hearing these four songs from the last time I sent them to you, but if you get 15 minutes, consider taking just one more listen—these songs have all come a long way.

The record is a bit rough around the edges, but I am confident that it does a good job of representing what one boy can accomplish alone in his bedroom with a guitar, a computer, and a goal.

Thanks for listening. Theres more to come soon.

credits

released December 13, 2018

Music and Lyrics by Brian Kelleher
All Instruments Performed and Arranged by Brian Kelleher
Bass Guitar on Track 3 performed by Jerry Li

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about

Brian Kelleher Saint Paul, Minnesota

some things go wrong / sink so low you even blame the sun

things about me:

born/raised- ct
currently living and attending college in minnesota

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